So, I had this vague idea that some of my friends had blogs, but I never really pursued it. I maybe read a little here or there, but blogging was not really on my radar. Then I got the inspiration that I needed a blog, and I'm at a complete loss about the ins & outs of the whole thing, so I thought I should look around. As soon as I started looking for it, I realized it's all over the place. For instance, even though I had never realized he was blogging, a friend had even announced my daughters' births to his blog-readers (trust me, he has other, far more interesting things to write about). How do I know this? Because now that I realized my friends are out there - I'm becoming a blog-junkie! Filling in the gaps of all the stuff I missed this whole time. But I felt the need to confess...I didn't follow my friends before and now I'm digging through archives. It seems very selfish.
For me, "why" matters; having honest intentions is an integrity thing and essential to my relationships. The broken trust of hidden motivations can be painful to rebuild. For instance, back when my husband and I got engaged, it was, of course, monumental news to me. At the time, someone who really mattered to me didn't even ask to see my ring. A few months later, this person came to visit unexpectedly, and took intense interest in every aspect of our wedding plans, especially asking to see my engagement ring. They studied it intently and asked all sort of questions about the finer details. It was such a reversal; I was flattered and thrilled. I thought they were ready to share my excitement about this huge new step we were taking. But before the end of an hour, I found out they had just gotten engaged and the interest was out of comparison and brainstorming. The visit wasn't to see me, or share in my excitement; it was to announce their news. It really hurt and it took a while for that sting to cool.
This blog is not about "outing" others, it's about my own confessions, and the relationship that was hurt that day has since been healed. I only share the story to explain why I might sometimes be over-sensitive to explain my motivation. I'm not naive enough to think that anyone has been pining for my readership or would be crushed by my neglect, or my potential alterior motive for visiting their blog. It probably doesn't matter to them whether I follow their blog or not. But when I pop up as a follower all the sudden (if I can ever figure out how to follow someone), they'll be right to question my sincerity. I hope they'll understand that if all I wanted was to see their layout, I could do that anonymously.
I'm cyber stalking my friends, because I'm sorry I missed out on so much that I didn't realize was there! And, let's face it, I'm also cyber-stalking my friends because I just started a blog and I wanted to know what theirs is like. I respect their writing, their style, their cyber-sense - and I want to learn from the best.
Be sincere in your love for others...Love each other as brothers and sisters and honor others more than you do yourself. (Romans 12:9-10 CEV)
p.s. Post your blog, in case I haven't found you yet. Is blogger the only place you can actually "follow" someone?