Friday, April 29, 2011
Daytime TV may suck out my brains
But boob-tube is actually pretty descriptive of my viewing habits lately, and I’ve found myself able to tolerate at least one of the shows that are on, at nearly every hour of the day and night. I now know that the SNL skit about Kathy Lee and Hoda is not exaggerated; they really do drink alcohol and act giddy. I know that you can skip the whole Dr Oz show, because he recaps his findings at the end of the program; just flip over for the last two minutes. I know that Kate and Will are scheduled to kiss at 8:25 EST this Friday morning; can’t miss that. And I know that Julie Chen and Leah Remini are uncomfortable bathing with their kids or kissing them on the lips; it’s hard to imagine what life would have been like without this knowledge. Sometimes I’m pretty sure I can feel my IQ dropping while I consume yet another celebrity interview or expert opinion on whether the toilet roll should be installed to dispense over or under.
My first strategy to preserve my brain function was to surf for cooking segments. At least I could gain some useful knowledge that would help me feed my family better or more interesting meals. So far, however, I have not cooked a single one of Rachael Ray’s “What’s for Dinner Tonight.” But I have attempted and consumed Buddy Valastro’s funnel cakes. Yep, imagine that, deep fried pancake batter tastes great! Not only did we make them, but while on a diaper and groceries run, I purchased better equipment to improve our funnel cakes next time. So, while we are enjoying the delicious “fruits” of my cooking segment viewing, I wouldn’t suggest that it has improved our family’s standard of living.
As long as we get through the first three months without getting sucked into any soap operas, my dignity will remain intact. Let’s all agree to blame my declining vocabulary on sleep deprivation, instead of The View. Agreed? The real irony – I’ve read that breastfeeding is associated with higher IQ in the baby. Apparently she’s gaining the brain cells I’m losing with this endeavor. That makes it all worth it.
Our people should learn to spend their time doing something useful and worthwhile. Titus 3:14